You are married. You have been for a long time, and you love each other in spite of your marital problems.
So you’ve decided to solve the problem. You want to save your marriage. But how?
There’s no magic bullet that can instantly fix any marital issue or relationship problem. It takes work.
The following 4 strategies are proven methods to help solve marriage problems:
Communication is the key to solving all types of marital issues. The fact is that many people don’t communicate effectively with their spouses and partners. They may not even be aware that they are communicating poorly. Sometimes it is easy to blame the spouse for poor communication, but in reality, they too don’t always know what to say when things get difficult.
It’s important to remember that communication is a two-way street. If you want to keep the peace in your relationship, then you need to speak up every once in a while. Don’t wait until there is a major blow-up or conflict before you speak up. Take the initiative to talk about your feelings, thoughts, and concerns. Remember that communication is not an option; it is an obligation.
In order to improve your communication skills, try these tips:
- Listen more than you talk. When you listen actively, you show interest in what the other person has to say. This shows respect for them as well as builds trust.
- Be specific. Instead of saying “I feel…” or “She’s so selfish!” try to tell your partner exactly what he or she did wrong instead of making broad statements.
2. Resolve Conflict With Love
Conflict is inevitable in relationships. Even though we’d prefer to avoid it, it is part of being human. We often find ourselves in situations where we have conflicting ideas on certain topics. And sometimes our loved ones cannot understand why we do something the way we do. These are normal conflicts and disagreements that happen in marriages all the time.
Many times, however, we avoid conflict because we think it will hurt us emotionally. But, if we avoid dealing with conflict, we also miss out on learning valuable lessons from it. So, it is best to resolve conflicts with love so as to learn from them and strengthen your relationship.
Here are some tips to help you resolve your conflicts with love:
- Let go of the past. Learn to forgive yourself and others. Let go of grudges and resentment. Learn to look at things in a positive light.
- Learn to compromise. When you negotiate differences of opinion, both parties tend to come out happy and satisfied. This teaches you to respect the opinions of others. It also helps you build trust and intimacy within your marriage.
- Respect your partner’s needs. Try to see things from your partner’s point of view when you are trying to figure out what is going on inside her mind. Make sure you take care of her emotional needs as well.
- Don’t hold onto anger. Anger tends to cloud our judgment and makes us blind to the truth. Hold on to anger, and it will destroy your relationship.
3. Be Honest With Yourself
Honesty is another pillar to building better relationships. People who are honest with themselves and others tend to be happier and healthier. Being honest means telling the truth, including the truth about your feelings and emotions, even when it hurts. Honesty also means owning up to mistakes and admitting when you got it wrong.
Here are some tips to help you become more honest with yourself:
- Express your feelings. When things get tough, you should admit to yourself that you are experiencing negative emotions such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, etc. Expressing your feelings to someone else will help you deal with the situation and move forward.
- Accept responsibility. Owning up to your mistakes is part of becoming a better person. If you make a mistake, admit it and apologize. Never let anyone make excuses for you.
- Stop procrastinating. There are many situations in life where you get to choose between doing something now or waiting till later. Make it a habit to act and stop waiting.
- Don’t lie to yourself. If you want to change, you need to accept the truth about yourself. Lying to yourself makes it harder to change.
4. Focus On Having Fun Together
When you focus on having fun together, you are likely to enjoy each other’s company, which leads to improved communication and a stronger bond between you.
Have fun with each other by doing activities you both enjoy. Do things that bring back memories from your childhood. You’ll be surprised how much time flies when you’re laughing. Also, try having dinner dates or movie nights at least once a week. Doing activities you both enjoy will help you stay connected.
Make small changes to your routine. Small changes add up over time. For instance, if you normally spend your weekends watching TV, try taking walks in nature. This will boost your sense of well-being and help you connect with each other.
Spend quality time with your family. Family members are very important to you. Spend time talking to your children and grandchildren, and make plans for special events. By spending quality time with your family, you will experience greater closeness with them, which will lead to better relationships with everyone around you.
Remember that improving your marriage doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice anything. You can still pursue your career goals, maintain your hobbies, and continue to live your own lives. When you put your happiness first, you can start to see a difference in your marriage.
The four strategies above provide a good starting point for solving your marital problems. However, you cannot expect quick results unless you follow them diligently. Be patient, and give yourself time to implement these strategies into your daily routines.
If you apply these strategies regularly, you will soon notice the benefits. You will also discover how rewarding marriage really is.